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Up Helly Aa - Processions & Galley Burning

Up Helly Aa – Processions & Galley Burning

On my ferry journey to Shetland, I met a fabulous woman named Peg (who just happened to be American and also had a blog) and her lovely daughter Salem, so I had some fun buddies to enjoy the processions with.  After a very fun and full day of enjoying the town of Lerwick, the darkness descended meaning the next chapter of the festivities would soon commence.

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First up at 5:30 pm was the Junior Procession.  I have to say, seeing the lads in their finery all carrying fiery torches was a pretty impressive sight!  If I didn’t know that there was to a be another larger procession later, I would not have felt hard done by to have just witnessed this one.

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Men who have been in Jarl Guards from previous years served as Marshalls for the Junior Procession, which was not only handy for safety’s sake but it give them a chance to break out their fabulous outfits again.

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While it was still dry for the procession, the wind was really beginning to pick up at this stage.

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The boys procession swirled into the walled park that held their galley and climaxed as they tossed their lit torches on it to set it ablaze.  A very impressive display from the lads who will no doubt continue on into the men’s squads in years to come.  It was just as we were trying to get our pictures of the burning galley that a misty rain began to descend.

Aside from being great company, my new friends were kind enough to invite me to join them at their B&B, a mere two blocks from the park were the processions ended and the galleys set alight.  We rushed back inside to put more layers on and change camera batteries to ready ourselves for the big event.  We had been so pleased with our location for the Junior Procession that we went back to stake out our same spots.  This was a full 45 minutes before the Men’s Procession was due to start.

We had no sooner rocked up to claim our digs than the most unbelievable, freezing-cold hurricane kicked up that was to last the rest of the night.

Now, I have seen some wild weather in my day, but I have never stood, hunched over, nestled into the backs of strangers (as others nestled into mine) for the slightest bit of protection from the elements.  I could only image that we looked just like the penguins at the beginning of Happy Feet as the wind whipped around us and the rain mercilessly soaked through every layer we had so futilely put on.  And there we stayed…and stayed…and stayed…

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It rained so hard it hurt as you would raise your head 2 inches from the nape of someone’s neck just to see if any torches could be seen, but at long last we were rewarded!  (I bet that this guy was sorely regretting his bare caveman-themed choice of costume on this occasion.)

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I don’t know if you have happened to have seen 1,000 men carrying lit torches snaking their way through a blacked out town during a hurricane, but just in case you haven’t I can assure you it is AWESOME!!!!!!!

Just for a bit of perspective, there are about 23,000 people in Shetland in total from all the islands.  Lerwick as the most populous town has a population just under 7,000 souls.  Out of this community, not counting girls of all ages, boys under the age of 16, Senior Citizens/ OAPs and any disinterested parties, they can STILL muster 1,000 men able and willing to march in the freezing, soaking blackness carrying a lit torch. Pretty impressive any way you slice it.

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My camera was not terribly pleased with the wet and cold so I just managed to snap a few pictures of the Squads streaming by as they entered the park.  My friend Peg of A Kilt and a Camera photography and travel blog took some really fantastic images of this event, but I really struggled with numbs hands, driving rain, flames and limited photography skills.

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The Squads began their hypnotic swirling around the galley, singing loudly and accompanied by the Brass Band.

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Another maroon blast cracked through the night which was the signal to burn that boat down!  The men closest in the circle launched their torches high into the air to land on the deck of the galley.  They then duck down and fade to the back of the pack creating room for the next wave to move safely to the galley to do the same.  So seamless is this transition that all the spectator can see is the steady stream of torches being tossed for about 5 solid minutes as the flames creep higher and higher up engulfing the galley.

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And boy does that baby burn!  Custom dictates that everyone stay and watch the fire until the head of the dragon finally falls off.  As spectacular as it was, given the weather there were a fair few of us silently begging for this guy to topple.

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This ends the public part of the event and it is what most tourists think of as the and of Up Helly Aa…. if only they realised that the real party was just about to begin!

 

 

Up Helly Aa - Introduction

Up Helly Aa – Introduction

There just ain’t no getting around the fact that this post is going to be a doozy!  I tried, I have really, really tried to get the story, the images and the adventure that is Up Helly Aa into a single blog post but it is just not possible.  So instead, there will be four; Introduction, Procession & Galley Burning,  Music & Halls, and then Shetland’s Gems.  So without further ado, please let me introduce you to Europe’s Biggest Fire Festival and the most visually stunning thing I have ever had the privilege to bear to witness to… Up Helly Aa!

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One year ago today I packed myself onto a ferry to take a verrrrryyyyyy rough 12 hours boat ride to reach the group of islands half-way between mainland Scotland and Norway known as Shetland. Even though I was a bundle of nerves and missing my babies…I was on an adventure and couldn’t have been more excited.

Up Helly Aa is the kind of event that you hear about when folks get talking about various tall tales, and even most Scots only ever see the odd photo or two of a Viking galley engulfed in flames on the BBC website. So it was all I could do not to pinch myself as I found myself catching the first glimpse of the hand crafted galley through the gathering crowds on  their march to the Market Cross to begin the festivities.

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Most people just think of Up Helly Aa as a fire festival where the men of Lerwick dress as Vikings and set fire to a galley. That in and of itself would be groovy enough, but it is actually a fantastically choreographed series of events, displays and performances that embrace several chapters of the island’s history and reaffirms the communities bonds in an annual raucous and good-natured party.

For starters, the men of Lerwick (there are other Up Helly Aa celebrations throughout Shetland but Lerwick is the biggest by far) organise themselves into Squads.  These are groups of friends centered around work or family that can range in size from about 16-25 and are primarily social groups (similar to the Crewes of Mardi Gras). The number of Squads varies but there are usually in the region of about 45 Squads at any given time.

Every year since 1882 one man assumes the title of  Guizer Jarl (meaning Earl or Chieftain) but he may have been selected for that role years in advance.  It is his squad that will take top honours and don the bespoke Viking regalia and build the galley to be set aflame.  To be selected as the Guizer Jarl (guizer is a term that means in disguise) is the equivalent of being selected as MVP/ Man of the Match, Prom King & winning an Oscar all rolled into one.  It is HUGE.  It is so big that the people of Lerwick can name  all of the Guizers Jarls and which year they held that honour similar to how others might collect sports cards.  In addition to his regular squad, the Guizer Jarl can invite others friends and family to join – an incredible once in a lifetime honour – swelling the size of the Jarl Squad to around 50-70!

7 UHA BP 1 - 600Up Helly Aa is held on the last Tuesday of January and the day begins with the presentation of “The Bill”.  This hand painted placard is a very tongue in cheek proclamation of the Guizer Jarl that is loaded with jokes and jibes of people and events within the community for the past year.  These can cut very close to the bone but it also quite a big deal to make it into the Bill.  It is always signed with the credo “We Axe for What We Want”.  I wanted to go and see the actual unveiling but was gently informed that “it usually happens around 5:00 am by lads that have been up all night drinking, and well…it’s not what you would call a spectator sport”!

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While some aspects of what has become Up Helly Aa go back several hundreds of years, much of the modern celebration was developed in the 1880s.  As such, the music and songs (of which there are loads) date to that era as well.  The Brass Band is integral part of the celebration and it is when they strike up that the people of Lerwick know that Up Helly Aa has begun at last.

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The Brass Band leads the jubilant Jarl Squad ( who have all grown big bushy beards in the past year) past the Bill with an endless chorus of “ARRRRGGGGHH” emitting from the men as they raise the axes aloft.

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There is a Junior Jarl Squad as well and there are right in the festivities with their own Junior Jarl. Later in the evening they will lead their own procession of boys squads and set fire to a smaller galley.

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But for the boys, men and spectators alike, the atmosphere is incredible.  They Jarl Squad look like all their Christmases have come at once and they are having a ball! They are on display and loving every minute of it as they head down to their photo call at the Bressay Ferry Terminal.

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While the Brass Band leads the procession the Pipe & Drum Band bring up the rear.  The amount of music, cheering and shouting all ringing off the wall of the narrow street just brings the visceral excitement to an amazing level….and this is all before 10:00 am!

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The Jarl Squad climb aboard their short-lived but beautifully made galley and pose for a fair few rounds of photos – still shouting “AAARRRGGGHH” throughout.

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This is the Guizer Jarl himself, Stevie Grant pictured here enjoying the gloriously bright clear morning (it didn’t last).

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After the group picture, everyone breaks up for a short chance to see family and friends and have a few more photos taken.  The break doesn’t last long as there is a serious schedule of processing and visiting of schools and hospitals to attend.

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The Viking costumes are just amazing in their craftsmanship and detail, and the members of the Jarl Squad are just proud as peacocks to be wearing them.  When I asked this member of the Jarl Squad (Andrew Aiken) for his picture, he happily obliged but his female companions just rolled their eyes and told me to “not encourage him”, poor thing! (I believe it can be quite a long year for the partners and families of those in the Jarl Squad.)

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With their break over, the Procession reconvenes to march out to a full schedule of stops and visits.  Bringing the whole show of music, songs and shouting with them at every stop.

20 UHA BP 1 - 600While it is still a school day, absolutely everybody comes out to welcome the Jarl Squad and cheers them on for this first chapter in the festivities.

 

Saffron Scones with Lime Cream

Saffron Scones with Lime Cream

Whoop, whoop…Swedish Linn of Cardamom Buns fame is back in the house!  This time she is here to share a fantastic contemporary treat inspired by a Swedish Christmas classic. This recipe comes from chef Cecilia Vikbladh from her book Cecilias Fikastunder, which roughly translates to ‘Cecilias Coffee Brakes’ but it actually means much more.

The partaking of ‘fika’ is an institution in Swedish social life and a core concept in their hospitality – which they take seriously and deliciously. ( I personally have a theory that the more extreme your climate the higher the priority hospitality plays in your culture – just saying.) It can be as simple as a coffee break at work, but it is more often a social gathering usually associated with some baked sweet treats.  It holds a similar place in Swedish society as a High Tea would in British, but is much more frequent in occurrence.   However, If you invite someone to your home for fika, be sure to serve a minimum of at least three different goodies so as not to offend your guest.  Linn puts even that to shame as she thinks a proper fika, particularly when hosted between Christmas and New Year, should have at least SEVEN different baked goods with flavours including saffron, cinnamon, cardamom, nuts and dried fruit.  As I said, serious and delicious business is this fika hospitality!

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Unfortunately, the source of these wonderful treats is not available in English as far as I could find, so we will have to rely on Linn and the other Swedish speakers in my life to share these and other glories!

I first encountered these golden-hued delicacies at a friend of Linn’s named Jenny Foley, who is also from Sweden.  As there was lots of chat going on I wasn’t entirely paying attention to what I was eating.   As the first bite of saffron hit my palate, only to be chased with a tart ever-so-slightly sweet cream, my head began to spin.  In term of taste reference,  up to that moment my taste buds had always associated saffron with seafood!  As far as I knew saffron was the flavour of bouillabaisse, paella and spiced garlicky aioli to accompany shrimp.  But not to the Swedish, to them the taste of saffron transports them straight to Christmas time, especially in traditional St Lucia Buns that feature on the 13th of December.  So after a quick re-calibration of the idione-like medicinal undertones shifting from savoury to sweet, I was in heaven!

So why is saffron associated with Christmas time in Sweden?  Whilst saffron was available throughout Europe in the Middle Ages, it was so horrendously expensive (as it still is today), that it was only used sparingly at very special occasions such as Christmas.  St Lucia Day became popular in Sweden after the reformation as the rise of Protestantism moved what had been the Christmas or Yule celebrations to the 13th of December, which was believed to be the Winter Solstice in the old calendar.  The celebration focuses on St Lucy who is represented by a young girl bearing lights and sweets. While the holiday is nominally saint-based, it is believed to incorporate many elements of  pre-christian mid-winter and Yule celebrations.  The modern interpretation of St Lucia Day is over 200 years old and is held very dear to Swedes all over the world.  Christmas is also a very big deal once again so December is one yummy party in Sweden and throughout Scandinavia.  Whichever you are celebrating, get ready to break out the saffron.

The technique for making these scones is a bit different from the basic scone method in both British and American baking, so once again I went overboard in my pictures.  It is quite straight forward once the different steps are explained, but I don’t think it would be very intuitive, so here we go…

As seems the norm in Linn’s baking, start by pre-heating the oven to 220 c/ 430 F/ or in general a really hot oven.

1. saffron scone

In a mortar and pestle place 1 Tablespoon of sugar and add your saffron threads or powder.  Apparently most saffron in Scandinavia is sold as powder, so you really are just using the sugar to help break it down a bit more to help to infuse the whole scone.

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The image on the left is what you start out with and the image on the right is what you are aiming to achieve.  If you don’t have a mortar and pestle just put the sugar and saffron in a bowl and grind with a smaller bowl on top.

Saffron Milk

Next warm your 200 ml / 4/5 cup of milk gently until is it just warm to the touch.  Add your pulverized saffron sugar, mix and remove from the heat to cool completely.

5. Saffron Scones

In a large bowl mix your flour, salt and baking powder and stir or sift to combine.

Saffron Butter

Weight out and cube 75 g of super chilled butter and rub it into the dry mixture, leaving small little seed-sized  lumps.

Eggy Mix

Now, once your milk & saffron mix has cooled completely, crack a medium egg into the mix and whisk to combine.  Bring the mix over to your bowl of dry ingredients and stir to combine.

Dough The mix will turn this fantastic yellow ochre colour from the saffron and smell just heavenly.  It is really quite a wet mix, but turn it out onto a floured surface and just bring it together incorporating a little flour at a time until it just comes together as a workable dough.  Be gentle and work quickly as you don’t want to overwork the dough or melt those little bits of butter that it help it to rise in the oven.Shaping Scones

Add a bit more flour to your work surface and roll out the dough to about 3/4″ or 20 mm thickness.  Cut into whatever shape might sing to you and place on a baking sheet lined with oven proof paper.

Toppings

Now you are in the home stretch, so simply brush your cut out scones with milk and top with a generous pile of sliced hazelnuts and demerara sugar for extra post-baking sparkle and crunch.  Place into the super hot oven (which was too messy to photograph) for approximately 12 minutes.

Sweet Lime

Those 12 minutes should provide ample time to whip up this lime cream which is positively sublime (get it ?!), that is sure to become a fast favourite for all sorts of culinary needs.  I am already eyeing it up for a smoked salmon bagel canape with my pickled fennel, mmmmmmm.  Anyway, simply place a small tub of softened cream cheese into a bowl, add the zest of 1 lime and 2 Tablespoons of icing/powdered sugar.  Add the juice of half a lime and stir to combine.  It should become a super thick cream and not be too runny, so only add the juice from the other half of if you think it can take it.

19. Saffron Scones

Serve the warm wonderful scones with the chilled lime cream – don’t forget the coffee like I did – and transport yourself to a cool, hip Swedish fika.  The flavour combination will seem unexpected and exotic at first, but will quickly unite into a new classic for sure.

A big thank you to Linn, Jenny and of course Cecelia Vikbladh, who may have single-handedly inspired me to start learning Swedish!

Enjoy!

 

Saffron Scones with Lime Cream

Saffron Scones with Lime Cream

Ingredients

    For Scones:
  • Saffron - 1 teaspoon/ .5 gram
  • Sugar (Regular) - 1 Tablespoon/ 15 ml
  • Milk - 4/5 cup / 200 ml
  • Egg - 1 medium
  • Flour (Plain or All Purpose) - 2 cups/ 500 ml
  • Salt - 1/2 teaspoon/ 2 ml
  • Baking Powder - 2 teaspoons/ 10 ml
  • Butter - 75 grams/ 5 1/2 Tablespoons VERY COLD
  • Sliced Hazelnuts - for garnish
  • Demerara or Turbinado Sugar - for garnish
  • For Lime Cream:
  • 200 grams/ 1/4 lb or 1 small tub of soft cream cheese (Philadelphia).
  • Zest & juice of 1 small lime
  • Icing Sugar (Powdered Sugar) - 2 Tablespoons

Instructions

    To Prepare the Scones
  1. Preheat an oven to 225 c/ 430 F/ Gas Mark 7/ Very Hot
  2. Place 1 TB of regular sugar and saffron into mortar & pestle (or small bowl), grind to combine.
  3. Warm the milk in a pan until just warm (about 70 C/ 158 F).
  4. Add saffron & sugar mix, stir and leave to cool.
  5. In a large bowl, mix flour, baking powder & salt.
  6. Cube up the cold butter and combine with dry ingredients .
  7. Add 1 egg into the cooled saffron & milk mixture. Whisk to combine
  8. Add the whisked milk mix into the dry mix, stir to combine. (Mix will be quite wet)
  9. Turn scone mixture onto a floured surface & knead gently until it comes together in a workable dough.
  10. Gently roll out to roughly 3/4"/ 20 mm/ 2 cm thickness and cut with cutter of your own choice.
  11. Place onto a baking sheet lined with greaseproof paper/ wax paper/ baking parchment,
  12. Brush scones with milk and top with sliced hazelnuts and Demerara sugar.
  13. Place scones into the hot oven and bake for approximately 12 minutes.
  14. For the Lime Cream
  15. In a medium bowl add 1 small tub of soft cream cheese
  16. Add 2 Tablespoons of icing/powdered sugar.
  17. Add zest 1 lime and juice if 1/2 - 1 small lime.
  18. Stir to combine - mix should be consistency of very thick cream, not too runny.
  19. Enjoy!
https://albaliving.com/2013/11/saffron-scones-with-lime-cream/

The Burryman of South Queensferry!

The Burryman of South Queensferry!

This may have been the event that started me on this journey.  During our courtship my soon-to-be husband would send me wild, weird or groovy tidbits about the land which I would soon call home.  The Burryman of South Queensferry grabbed him in particular as it was under five miles from where he spent most of his life and he had never heard of it before, despite having been orchestrated for hundreds, if not potentially upwards of a thousand years!

Welcome to the beautiful town of South Queensferry just 8 miles from Edinburgh on the Firth of Forth.  It was awarded its name by Queen (later Saint) Margaret who first established a ferry for pilgrims visiting St. Andrew’s, and then officially by her son David I upon the Queens death in 1093.

The Burryman Parade is always celebrated on the 2nd Friday of August and is now a stand out part of the week-long “Ferry Fair” which has its origins in the 12th century.  This is the be-decked High Street of South Queensferry as a few of us stalwarts gathered to welcome the Burryman on his annual cross town escapade.

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The tradition of the Burryman seems to have stumped academics looking for hard fast dates of inception.  There are references to the elevation of the town to royal burgh (hence a possible play on word of burgh-y man) from both King Malcolm of Canmore (1058-1093) and more recently during the reign of Charles the I (1625 – 1643).  However the guy is literally covered in the prickly burrs of the Burdock plant so that seems a bit of a stretch.

There are other suggestions of the Burryman playing a ‘scapegoat’ or ‘sacrificial victim’  role as his burrs gather all the bad luck of the town (it is considered very good luck to pinch a few of his burrs – I certainly grabbed some). Other suggestions that have to do with similar ceremonies that had existed in other fishing villages such as Fraserburgh or Buckie on the Moray coast that had to do with “raising the herring”.   There are some notable links with other ancient festivals in Europe and in England such as Jack in the Green , Castleton Garland Day, and the Whittlesey Straw Bear, but the Burryman of South Queensferry is the only festival of its kind left in Scotland.

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Curiously, on the day itself, every person in town will tell you the same thing.  They claim that the ceremony dates back only a few hundred years when a fisherman washed up on shore after a wreck.  Dressed only in his under-crackers (a union suit for you Yanks) he sought to maintain his modesty by covering himself in the handy and abundant burrs before heading into town to ask for help.  Upon receiving said help, he bestowed good luck on all the towns people as thanks.  Now, I don’t know too many fisher folk that would a) be that fussed about their modesty after a wreck, or b) choose really spiky, itchy burrs to protect their hypothetical modest, but hey – that is the party line from the people who have spent their lives in the town.

A few fun facts, very recently a 10,000 year old settlement was found on the outskirts of town putting human habitation in the area right back to the end of the last ice-age, and the burrs grow locally near the grounds of Hopetoun House.  Just thought I would throw that into the mix as some elements that could indicate a very old local origin indeed.

So, on this glorious August morning we gathered outside the Stag’ Head Hotel to await the mythical Burryman.

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And after being dressed in a comfy outfit of heavy woolens, a balaclava and a bowler hat, then plastered with sheets of burrs and finished off with local flowers, the Burryman of 2013 (Andrew Taylor) emerges from the pub with his close friends and attendants to begin the big day.  For many decades the Burryman outfit included a Rampant Lion Flag ( the Royal Standard of Scotland)  around his waist.  When I asked about its absence, the past & current Burryman stated that after looking at historical photographs where no flag was present, they were trying to keep things old skool.  Only men (or stout lads) born in the town can play this important role, and most that take up the post  maintain for several years.  This was Mr Taylor’s second year but his friend in the white t-shirt John Nicol had previously held the role for 15 years!

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So at about 8:45 am the Burryman supported by his attendants (Andrew Findlater and Duncan Thompson) were warmly welcomed to applause and people jostling for the first few photographs of this year’s event.

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A few tentative steps later and the Burryman, his attendants, some family, friends and a Crier shouting “Hip…Hip…Hoor-ray, it’s..the Burry..Man’s…Day” with associated bell ringing,  all head off to their first stop on their over 8 mile journey that will last the whole day.

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The first stop is at the town Provost’s house for their first (of which will later be uncountable) drink of whisky.  Due to the prickly nature of the get up, the Burryman is provided a straw to help is this task.  Apparently, the group can’t eat or sit down all day and can only drink whisky, so…a good time is had by all.  PS the attendants drink at each stop as well so I don’t know how much help they are by the end of the day!

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John Nicol (left), Burryman (1996-2011) & Andrew Taylor, Burryman (2012 – )

The procession continues around town all day and takes a wee breather at The Moorings pub at about 4:00 pm.  Silly me thought that this is where things ended, but oh was I wrong.  While at The Moorings I was able to get this picture of past and current Burrymen side-by-side.

After a brief rest from their tour round the houses, the group headed off back to the High Street.

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Beginning with this lovely owner of the local ice cream shop, the Burryman continued his whisky sipping extravaganza through the gorgeous cobblestone waterfront of the town.

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Stopping to bestow good luck and pausing for pictures with the first of several brides along  the way.

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As the day wound down, the procession began to pick up some serious crowd action as we reached the far end of the town.

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At the edge of the waterfront sits the historic and iconic Hawes Inn, which is said to have hosted one Robert Louis Stevenson whilst he was writing Kidnapped and subsequently features in the book.  As it was after 5.30 pm I thought surely this is where things would wrap up.  I know that I was beginning to wane and I hadn’t been the one walking a 10k with burrs in all my nooks and crannies.

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But after posing for pictures with a few terrified children, some very surprised tourists and scoffing his requisite whisky, the group turned around and headed back to the town again.   It was then I realised he had only partaken at all the pubs on one side of the High Street, and had to go back and do the same again all the way back on the other side!

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Luckily, a piper was ready and waiting for him for this last leg of his journey, which certainly helped to raise the spirits of the crowd as well as the procession’s.

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And after 10 hours and nearly as many miles, countless drinks and a bevy of brides, the crew finally arrived back at their original destination of the Stag’s Head Hotel.

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Huge cheers arose from all for an impressive feat and an amazing day, which has been a part of this town for longer than anyone can confidently document.  At this point  more than a few folks emboldened by the crescendo (or maybe a bit of drink) came out of the crowd to grab wads of burrs off the guy’s suit as good luck keepsake until next year.  He was then helped back into the pub for a disrobing and I am sure a welcome sit down.

So,  just as it has for hundreds and perhaps as long as a thousand years or more, bad luck was gathered up and good luck bestowed on all who cheered on the Burryman of 2013.

Hip…Hip…Hooray…It’s…the…Burry…Man’s…Day!

A New Day Dawns (Finally)

A New Day Dawns (Finally)

So, the day had finally arrived…my children were in school full-time! This is THE point in time where (ideally) years of creative preparation were to emerge from development to magically transmute into reality.  As per the fickle finger of fate, the starting gun was waylaid by a horrendous multi-week cold.  However, don’t feel too sorry for me as the cooties were most likely the direct result of the shenanigans I have been up to for the past months (more on that in a bit).

So, let’s start with a recap of recent doings in Jeantopia.  Following up on the creation of this blog about two and half years ago, this past  year saw the official launch of my artisan food business of Alba Flavour!

snapshot AF 2012

I began with a line of hand-made chicken sausages, full of flavour of free from all the nasties that are often found in mass-produced meats.  Thanks to the support of a few stalwart fans, word began to spread and before I knew it I was filling weekly orders up to my limits of time and space – happy days!

A few additional products  joined the party with my Balsamic Bacon Chutney, Pickled Fennel, Italian Olive Salad and  Salmon Jerky, and I had officially maxed out my utility room and spare fridge. So Alba Flavour is expanding to its own purpose-built structure in my back garden to hold dedicated prep & ready-to-eat fridges, a freezer, smoker, dehydrators and lot of storage!!!

Here is a sneak preview of what will soon be on offer either direct from me or (hopefully soon) from a local fine food cafe, deli or farm shop.  The goal is basically to be a poultry & seafood-based artisan charcuterie, highlighting many of the ridiculously fantastic resources that Scotland has to offer.

snapshot AF 2013

So far so good.  We have the blog – which is due for a revamp, the business – which is growing and now let me introduce you…

THE BOOK!

This next project has been simmering away in my head for at least a decade and probably since my very first visit to Scotland in 1998. For reasons I simply can not fathom, within the UK Scots have a reputation as being quite grumpy and dour.  I think it has something to do with over-emphasis on the weather & chagrin over producing John Knox, but I can assure the experience of living here is ANYTHING but sullen!  In addition, Scotland is home to some of the most unusual, bizarre and outrageous celebrations on God’s green earth – so there.

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So, after waiting a  full 10 years for someone imminently for worthy than I to do this, I set out to travel the country to try to capture the history, customs, food & spectacle of some of Scotland’s unique events. (See, nine months of travel & party are surely to blame for my recent malaise.)  Let me tell you this stuff is UNBELIEVABLE  and I can not wait to share it with you.

The book begins at one minute past midnight on New Year’s with the tradition of ‘First Footing’ and follows the calendar through a whole variety of events that culminates back on the 31st of December with Scotland’s signature New Year’s celebration of  ‘Hogmany’.   Along the way I have been doing some serious feasting and will provide my own recipes highlighting seasonal and local ingredients to best capture the essence of the events, so you too can enjoy the spirit of some these too-fabulous-for-prime-time parties.

The good news for readers of this blog is, that I have decided to use this space to share the all singing/all dancing tales of each of my adventures, which will then be trimmed down to a bit more polished and condensed version for the book. I will hold back on the recipes that will be in the book, but will continue posting other tasty treats from my day-to-day culinary adventures.

So there you have it – the blog/business/book extravaganza that will all hopefully blossom magnificently over the course of this next year.  Ideally, (this is Jeantopia after all) the book will be available in time for the Glasgow Commonwealth Games & the Ryder Cup next summer so fingers crossed.

So that is the starting gun fired, and as we all get settled into our new school routines don’t forget to take your vitamins and watch out for some wild & woolly tales of  hurricanes, Vikings, reggae tents and a shocking variety of things set afire.

Happy Back to School!

Elderflower Madness

Elderflower Madness

It is just not easy being me.  As it is Monday, and I savour the mix of post-emergency room embarrassment, missed Father’s Day guilt and travel exhaustion, I feel I must share my tale of woe to try to ease your life journey with a cautionary tale from my own.

The Culprits

The Culprits

For the past several years, our lifestyle TV presenters have urged us to get out and enjoy the riches of our countryside.  And the example that almost ALL have advocated, the virtual training-wheels exercise of foraging,  is to get out and make yourself some Elderflower Champagne.  All you need to do is to look for the little white flowers that grow in bunches in wild roadside settings…

Elderflower in Bloom

Elderflower in Bloom

ferment them with a little lemon and a whole lot sugar, and SHAZAM, home-made champagne.  Do a quick internet search and you can find videos, kits and endless blog posts about how easy and wonderful this elevated yet homespun delight is for the taking.

Home-made Elderflower Champagne

Home-made Elderflower Champagne

So, several months ago I set my cap for this project.  I shared my enthusiasm with friends, family & anyone else to please keep their eyes peeled for the first sign the fleeting but bountiful blossoms.  I was NOT going to miss them this year.  At last, the word had arrived.

vicky text

Elderflower Updates from Friends

That was the good news.   The bad news was that the start whistle of the season had blown right in the middle of a few very busy weeks, with family events, lovely house guests and a tag-a-long trip to my sister’s self-declared mid-life crisis in the south of France.

However,  I returned from France and my champagne kit  had arrived, so I was pleased to still see a few of the tell-tale white flowers on one last stretch of hedgerow…or so I thought.   My mantra was, “head to the hedgerow, find little white flowers that grow in bunches..”, which I repeated over and over.   As such, I powered through the exhaustion of my 4:30 am waking time to run out and fill my bucket with the blossoms, but as I was rushing I managed to grab a fair few leaves as well.

Highly Allergic NOT Elderflower

Highly Allergic NOT Elderflower

I didn’t feel my best and had a tricky tummy, but anyone who single-handedly tried to drink the south of France dry in four days, downing lots of teeny fried sardines en route and sleeping very little would feel the same.  It wasn’t until I sat down with my bucket on my lap to ready the blossoms for fermenting that my lips began to tingle, which I quickly dismissed due to probable sunburn.  I thought I would watch a few refresher video demonstrations so I could proceed with more confidence, and as my tongue started to swell and breath became shallow I started to get a bit nervous.

book cover

My very sensible husband quickly referred to his handy guide for edible plants in Britain, only to discover that if my little white flowers were not in fact Elderflowers, most of the likely substitutes all had alarming illustrations of skulls & crossbones next to their entries.

book insert

Here are the entries for the most likely plants that also produce little white flowers that grow along the hedgerows in Britain.  Let’s review shall we?

Cowbane (Deadly)

Cowbane (Deadly)

Cowbane, a member a parsley family that is so toxic it can kill a cow in 15 minutes. In humans it can burn skin badly and render the affected area photosensitive (as in can never be exposed to the sun ever again)  for life.

Fool's Parsley

Fool’s Parsley (Deadly)

Fool’s Parsley, which features heavily in deadly foraging accounts on the internet (even involving veteran foragers), with one man dying after pinching two leaves to taste.

Poison Hemlock (Deadly)

Poison Hemlock (Deadly)

And then we have the Grand Daddy of deadly roadside blossoms, the Poison Hemlock.  This is  the delight that sent Socrates to meet his maker and is most potent when prepared….as a drink.  It’s poison is not only a neurotoxin but also causes muscular and respiratory paralysis.  Needless to say, now I am properly worried.

Out of an abundance of caution, I thought I would check with NHS 24, the phone service you call for them to say, “let’s wait and see for a few hours” so you don’t have to travel to a doctor to tell you the same thing.  They tell me to get to a hospital immediately.  Crumbs.

Now, even though I was told to go the hospital that doesn’t mean that the staff there were particularly happy to see me on their doorstep.  No one wanted to hear my tale of mistaken champagne making and absolutely no one wanted to inspect my little baggy of offending flowers.  As I was there anyway, they felt obligated to do something with me and since one of my symptoms was some chest tightening, they decided to treat me as if I was having a heart attack.  When the electrodes taped all over me refused to register a heart irregularity, they felt they had done all they could for me.  At that point they sent me…in an ambulance…to a different hospital  A&E (emergency room),  that was enjoying the aftermath of a baseball bat brawl amongst a herd of very drunk, partially clothed youths.

Please picture six “stalls” of curtained areas with at least 4 police and 2-3 medical personnel IN EACH STALL attending to head traumas, smashed hands and collapsed lungs, and there is me in the middle stall, with my hounds-tooth wrap, a baggy of blossoms and an edible plant field guide to try to clarify if  my stingy lips meant I was going to peg it on Father’s Day.

After the bleeding screamers were hauled off to surgery, jail or ejected out the door, a doctor came in to basically say that since I wasn’t dead yet I was probably fine, and prescribed an antihistamine for a week. Relief quickly soured to embarrassment and I wearily called a taxi at 1:00 am.  My very nice driver politely inquired (after negotiating me through the residual fight participants laying on the pavement/sidewalk) why I was at the hospital at such an hour.  So I confessed all, stating the whole episode was going to sent to the vault immediately after that single airing.

Guess what?  HE HAD DONE THE EXACT SAME THING! Only he had come across another nasty white blossom known as Hogsweed and erupted in painful blisters on his face and hands that took a week to heal.  He told me I absolutely had to share what had happened as there were probably loads of other people that could make similar mistakes as we had, perhaps with even worse outcomes.

It's All About the Leaves

It’s All About the Leaves

So, SAFETY TIP: there are MANY little white flowers out there in Britain at this time of year, and ANY that ARE NOT Elderflowers  either contain highly allergic substances or can kill you.  So for Pete’s Sake be careful and share these tidbits that no previous celebrity, program, blog, video or brewing website happened to mention!

The key is in the leaves, not the flowers and you need to look out for large, single-shaped, shiny leaves that end in a point.  If you see little white flowers but the leaves have complex shapes or look like ferns….RUN!

Champagne Kit for Sale!

Champagne Kit for Sale!

For me, I fear that I am indeed going to give this seasons champagne a pass.  Unused kit for sale anyone?

Dangerously Smug Tossers

Potentially Dangerous Smugness

http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2011/jun/01/how-to-make-elderflower-champagne

Now, the fact that I gathered the wrong plant is not a huge shock given my gardening status as a Black Thumb.  But  that  lots of people are happily sending us out there WITH NO WARNINGS AS TO THE SEVERITY if things do go wrong feel quite irresponsible.  So the next time you come across a show, blog or article such as the link above, remember to ALWAYS be careful before you gather or eat ANYTHING in the wild with knowing exactly what it is AND  if there are any potentially dangerous plants similar in appearance. And wear gloves, even on a hot day…you will thank me later.

Now, I am off to the wine store to retreat to the safety of  ready-made Prosecco for another year.

Have a Happy & Safe Monday!

Banana Muffin Breakthrough!

Banana Muffin Breakthrough!

First things first, I HATE baking.  Please don’t get me wrong, I don’t hate baked goods per say,  just any personal involvement in the act of baking.  Here is my beef with the whole thing: I can not stand how baking requires you to dirty multiple bowls, utensils, instruments & pans to generate an expensive and labour-intensive item that you feel guilty about eating anyway.  Sure they are tasty and pretty to look at, buy I would so much rather disgrace myself with an antipasto platter than a passion fruit pavlova (or apple pie depending where you are from).

However, faced with a surplus of seriously rotten bananas (and some fairly old milk) I was forced to devise a few sneaky techniques that may just help overcome my baking aversion.  It is early days yet but I am already leafing through some long-lost baking recipes that may – if able to be adapted – see the light of day in this household. (Particularly since if my kids don’t see them at home, they are highly unlikely to ever encounter such delicacies as Snickerdoodles or Boston Cream Pie in Scotland.)

rotten bananas

So, returning to the rotten bananas that required my attention.  I had a real dilemma as not only as I am averse to  wasting food, but I am also in possession of probably the best Banana Bread Recipe known to human-kind…known in our house as Laura Is Bananas Bread (Laura’s for short) after my sister who made this endlessly in our youth.

toolsl & tricks

Now, in my youth Banana Bread was always..bread, as in baked in a loaf pan.  It took a month of Sundays to cook and absolutely required the full treatment of greasing & flouring the tin (plus extending cooling on its side whilst still in pan ?) if you had any hope of averting disaster in the unmoulding process.  So, here are my tweaks & tricks: 1) remake as muffin for faster cooking time, easier clean up & portion control, 2)  do away with anything electrical for general bother and noise pollution, 3) only use ONE bowl & 4) optional use of hand-held sieve & ice cream scoop to speed things up ( but it can all be accomplished without these last two bits).

I need to take just a second to apologise for the dramatic decrease in photo quality for the images in this post.  A few nights ago I was out trying to photograph the annual Beltane Celebration in Edinburgh and dropped the lens to my snazzy camera.  It was cold, dark, hilly & crowded and I had to contend with a whole lot of this…

beltane

so you can see I was not just being careless with my things!  Fret not, a replacement part is in the post and future images will be more delectable I assure you.

Back to our streamlined baking.  As previously stated it is crucial to anyone feeling skittish toward baking that you only use ONE bowl for the project.  Get a big one and fling softened butter, sugar, bananas & vanilla together.  Smoosh, fold and mix until thoroughly combined.  If this takes more than 30 seconds or requires any real exertion the butter is just not soft enough, so you need to put the spoon down and go have a cup of coffee.

Wet mix combo


Now you just need to add two eggs and a half a cup of milk that is either sour & chunky because you are a bad housekeeper, or because you have added a wee glug of vinegar to curdle.  This is important to the overall flavour and texture so don’t skip this step!

Dry Ingredients

Now here is where  my serious lazy bones ingenuity kicks in, avoid using a second bowl by laying out a large piece of wax/greaseproof paper to save having to clean up either a bowl or your counter top.  Whack all the dry ingredients in the sieve together and shuggle until fine.  Pick up the whole piece of paper and happily dump it into the bowl with the wet ingredients.

cups & cleanup

Avoid even MORE prep and clean up by using paper baking cases in a muffin tin, and for the truly lazy use a self-cleaning ice cream scoop for speed and even portions.  Now you can see the bowl on the far right is all you have to clean up for the whole of the baking process! ( All three pieces can easily go into the dishwasher if you were so inclined.)  Additionally, if you are careful filling the muffin tins a simple wipe with a damp cloth post baking and they are cupboard ready friends.

Banana Muffin

And it has to be said, these really are absolutely delicious.  They are good on their own, topped, they freeze well and basically just rock.  In fact, at last count THREE separate people I have shared this recipe with,  turned around and started selling it as their own!  They however did not have to chance to benefit from this new aerodynamic strategy, so you will have one up on them:).  So the next time you have rotten bananas, curdled milk and very little time,  just remember something delicious could be right around the corner.

Happy Bank Holiday Weekend, Cinco de Mayo or Generic Sunday wherever you may call home!

Laura's Banana Muffins

Ingredients

  • 3/4 cup (175 g ) Unsalted Butter, Softened
  • 1 1/2 cups (300 g ) Sugar
  • 1 1/2 cups (apprx 3 medium) Bananas, mashed (Best Rotten)
  • 2 medium Eggs
  • 1 tsp (5 ml) Vanilla Extract
  • 1/2 cup (125 ml) Milk (Best Soured)
  • 2 cups (500 g ) Flour All Purpose/Plain
  • 3/4 tsp (4 ml) Salt
  • 1 tsp (5 ml) Baking Soda

Instructions

  1. Preheat oven to 350 F/ 180 C
  2. In a large bowl place butter, sugar, bananas, eggs & vanilla.
  3. Mash and mix thoroughly with a rubber spatula or wooden spoon.
  4. Curdle 1/2 cup of milk with a teaspoon of vinegar & add to wet mix.
  5. Place a large piece of wax/greaseproof paper on the counter top.
  6. In a large sieve place flour, salt & baking soda and sift onto wax/greaseproof paper.
  7. Mix dry ingredients into the wet mixture in bowl - mix thoroughly.
  8. Place paper cases into a baking tray and fill each no more than 3/4 of way to top.
  9. Bake for 18-22 minutes until golden brown in top and a toothpick comes clean from muffins.
  10. Cool on a rack.
  11. Once cooled can be frozen and thawed for easy snacking.
https://albaliving.com/2013/05/banana-muffin-breakthrough/

The Beauty of Brisket

The Beauty of Brisket

I owe the lovely owner of this next shop a huge apology for my tardiness in posting this blog, but it is still tres au courant given recent events.

As I am a relatively superstitious person, part of my New Year’s preparation is to make sure everything in the house is fresh and clean by the time the bells ring (or the ball drops depending on where you are).  Part of my preparation involved dropping my big ‘ole duvet off at Aulde Sox my local laundromat.  As luck would have it, due to my always snazzy parking I finally found myself right outside this establishment, which I took to be the rumoured ‘really good butcher’ not far from my home.

T. Johnston Store Front – Abbey View

One of the many cultural impasses that you can encounter when living in a new country is that the cuts of meat are often very different, not just in name but in preparation.  I have really been hankering for some BBQ Beef Brisket and for years have been unsuccessful in getting decent information from any of my Edinburgh-based or local supermarket butchers as to the availability of that cut.

 

So, I entered the shop…bright, clean, fresh…so far, so good. I could spy the butcher/owner but as always I was a little nervous, not only to ask my eternally annoying question but also as I am always a little unsure how a honking American accent will be greeted in new circumstances such as the present one.

Well, happy days prevailed as the butcher, Derek O’Niell was not only lovely but a  fan of the Food Network, Man v Food and The Barefoot Contessa in particular, and he too was curious about the difference in the cuts of meat!

(Please appreciate that this next bit happened wayyyyy before the current horse meat scandal (like last year) so this next bit was all just business as usual.)

Derek and I chatted about the importance of animal welfare and traceability to the overall quality of meats, and he was even able to show me a picture of all the local farmers who raised the beef that he carried in the shop. Just to bring the point home these were not  just Scottish farmers, these were the specific farmers in a 10 mile radius to me in Dunfermline that supplied his shop.

And not only did he know each farmer, each piece of meat that comes into his shop is tagged with these babies, that specify the date, farm and animal that you are purchasing.  Now THAT is the way is should be done folks. Of course beef is not the only product that Derek carries but everything in the shop has a great pedigree of quality – and the sausage rolls which are made on site won best in Scotland 2010!  http://www.craftbutchers.co.uk/index.php?ID=144

Vegetarians look away now because it all gets quite meat-tastick for the next few shots.  

So, on to the brisket.  Derek said he had a fresh ‘delivery’ and that he could show me and would prepare a brisket for me.  Now, I am not sure what I was expecting, but I was most definitely NOT expecting him to pop into the fridge and emerge with a quarter of a cow!

I was so stunned I don’t even think I realised how far I was pushing my luck to ask him to pause for a little longer holding a huge, freezing carcass…so that I could get a nice snap. 🙂

I finally got out of his way so he could heave this beast onto his bench and reveal the exact location to what in Britain is known as brisket.  That would be the lovely tear-drop shaped muscle between the leg and the ribs.

In a few deft movements that took just second he removed the brisket and trimmed it of all remaining fat.

For reasons neither of us could readily explain, brisket is always sold rolled up and served Pot Roast Style as in this recipes that I pinched from the BBC website. (Please cut me a bit of slack on the original recipes as of late, but I am a) stuck at home with Scarlet Fevered children and b) deep in development trails for my future cookbook.)

http://www.bbcgoodfood.com/recipes/3139/potroasted-brisket-in-beer-with-parsnips-and-mushr

I of course had to satiate my BBQ brisket craving which was so very appreciated thanks to my local butcher Derek O’Neill at T. Johnston Butchers in Abbey View. Happy Happy Days.

(I made this just before heading out to my weekly support meeting of   “I Make Too Much Brown Food”, really –  hurry up Spring!)

http://allrecipes.com/recipe/busy-day-barbeque-brisket/

If you choose to eat meat you really should make every effort to support your local farmers, butchers, fishmongers, etc, and if you need any more reason to do so,  the recent horse meat extravagant should be enough to convince you. Just to be clear, the issue is not the origin of the animal but if suppliers and processors can’t be bothered to make they are even working with the proper animal for their food, you can pretty much toss notions of standards of safety and handling out the window as well.

So everybody, get out there and give your custom to your local food purveyors and know that you are doing you part in helping to ensure the safety and quality of your diet.  For you local folks get yourself over to T. Johnston’s Butchers either in Abbey View or on the High Street in Dunfermline, or do a search for local butchers in your area.

It is nice to have confidence in the quality and safety of  what you feed your family. Happy Monday!

T. Johnston – Abbey View

 

 

 

 

Old Skool Xmas 2012 - The Wonderbag

Old Skool Xmas 2012 – The Wonderbag

Well contrary to popular belief, apparently I was very good this past year! I have been itching to share my excitement over the lovely things Santa brought me this year and have finally found a quiet moment to do so, so sit back & relax as this is sooooo cool!

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From left to right let me introduce you to the super exciting Wonderbag, a new 9 cup (Stovetop) Espresso Maker, and my 5 Level Food Dehydrator with adjustable temperature controls. Can you tell I might have made my Christmas list during Hurricane Sandy when many of my nearest and dearest were without power for up to 10 days?  For the sake of brevity (my signature strength) I am only going to focus on The Wonderbag in this post, but fret not as subsequent adventures of espresso on the BBQ and home-made jerky will follow soon.

Now, onto the Wonderbag.

Metro Article

I first heard about this marvel just about a year ago when my husband brought this article home from his commute (he’s good like that).  This write up told the story of very enterprising woman based in South Africa named Sarah Collins, who after experiencing a frustrating round of power cuts and subsequent half-cooked meals in 2007 remembered her grandmother packing cushions around her pots to keep them hot.  She tried it, it worked and once she partnered up with friend and poverty activist Moshy Mathe in 2008, *SHAZAM* the Wonderbag was born.  At the time of my reading the article these were not yet available in the UK (as it is now) but my interest had been piqued.

Wonderbag

The Wonderbag itself is basically a super-insulated bean bag that acts as a slow cooker.  You cook your stew, curry, casserole, chowder or pasta bake up to a boiling temperature for anywhere between 5 to 15 minutes depending on the dish, you remove it from the heat, cover securely and place it in the bag with its hat and pull the drawstring tight.  The food will continue its cooking and stay hot for up to 12 hours without any additional energy,  allowing you to create deeply flavoured, healthy meals that are flat-out impossible to burn!

instructions

Not only is this just great kit but depending where you are in the world (such as Africa), it can help reduce the average family’s fuel consumption by up to 30%, which is not nothing when you consider many families need to spend up to a third of their income on fuel.  Worst still the fuel available to those same families is often in the form of paraffin, wood or dung which may require huge amounts of time to gather and often forces them into places that are not so safe.  When burned these fuel sources can produce nasty toxins in the home for all to breathe.  The Wonderbag actually works on the same principle as burying a pot in the ground as humans have done for thousands of years (think cowboy baked beans &  New England clambakes but with portability) and in more modern usage in the ‘hay boxes’ in Britain during WWII.

According to Oliver Thring writing in the Guardian newspaper, “Collins calculates that a family of four using the Wonderbag two or three times a week will save $80 a year on fuel. (Zimbabwe, for example, has a GDP per capita of $471.)”.  For every Wonderbag purchased in the UK, another is donated to a family in Africa, so the £30 price tag doesn’t sting so much. They retail for about £14 or $22 in South Africa or at a reduced price (or even free) for those in need.

The company founded by Collins is called Natural Balance and in 2011 it presented the Wonderbag to the UN Conference on Climate Change in Durban, South Africa.  After impressing the likes of Ban Ki-Moon and Microsoft, the product was picked up by global distributor Unilever.  The Wonderbag is now in over 150,000 homes in South Africa, has created over 8,000 jobs and Unilever has placed an order for over 5 million more bags to begin world-wide distribution. Not too shabby, eh?

I have left a few messages and emails as to when this will be available in the States & Canada and will post the information accordingly. The Wonderbag website is here http://nb-wonderbag.com/ if you want to check it out.

Wonderbag with pot

Right then, that is the Eco bit – let’s get down to how super cool this can be for absolutely everybody, not just those experiencing fuel poverty.  Now, I have been loving my slow cooker for the past several years, but it does indeed have a few drawbacks.  Firstly, I am not entirely keen on leaving it plugged in overnight or when I am not at home for great lengths of time (I am a Nervous Nelly I can’t help it).  Also, I do not have a massively spacious kitchen where power outlets and counter space can accommodate 6 litres of simmering hot stuff for extended periods, and finally I have had some experiences with larger stews that can burn on the bottom imparting a bitter taste if it gets mixed into the dish.  I have also found that conventional slow cookers are not terribly flexible as to the amount of  food you would like to cook, so you are kind of stuck with very large or very small amounts depending on your unit.

The Wonderbag solves all these issues in a one go as demonstrated by my Cuban Black Bean Chili.  (It is really Black Bean Soup but I renamed it for my British friends for whom it makes more sense to call it “Chili”.)  On Christmas Night I put a 500 g (1 pound) packet of dried black beans in a pot with a few bay leaves tucked in, covered with water and brought it to a boil for about 5 minutes and reduced to a simmer for 5 minutes more.  I removed it from the stovetop and packed it into its bag.  Now, here it where it gets good…

Resting

I could stick it in an entirely different room, away from harm’s (and turkey sandwiches’) way and leave it fire-hazard-free all night!  And it did just what it said it would, 12 hours later it was still hot and the beans had soaked up to perfection.  I removed the pot from the bag, sautéed up some veggies, spices and a garlic sausage that I dumped into the pot – brought it all back up to the boil for 5 minutes and simmer for 15 – back in the Wonderbag until we felt like eating our a wonderful post-Christmas lunch!  I have included the recipe below which can be made with canned/tinned beans but there is a difference in the overall flavour when they are soaked warm overnight.  Apologies for the over exposure of this image, but it is hard to make black bean look yummy at the best of times – but trust me it tastes divine.

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This is the obvious way to use this bag, but think of heading out for a long car ride to a holiday or ski home.  After several hours you reach your destination in the dark, cold & tired – but clever you stuck a big pot of Beef Stew, Veggie Chili or even Mac & Cheese into your Wonderbag before heading out and now have a hot home cooked meal upon arrival instead of a rubbish takeout!  What about hot pulled pork sandwiches at the soccer game or ice rink and just think about what you could do at a tailgate!  It is also great for camping or fishing trips and since it can keep food cold as well as hot it would be fabulous for big summer salads for picnics, reunions or a trip to the beach (without getting waterlogged in a regular cooler and/or squashed by your drinks).

My next trial is to pour some hot milk over oatmeal with maybe some cinnamon & raisins as I hear you can wake up to perfect oatmeal every time even on a school day – will let you know.

wonder bag cookbook

The Wonderbag comes with a handy little cookbook to get you started which included roasted meats (once seared) and even some sweet dessert recipes.  However,  when I was first getting started in slow cooking I had great luck with this next baby.  The reason being I wanted to be THOROUGHLY convinced of the science and safety of slow cooking and also of how to adapt many of my favourite recipes to the slow cooking process.  This book provided all and has become a fast favourite.

Slow Cookers for Dummies

The one single negative I have come across about the Wonderbag is that some reviewers are quite sniffy that it currently uses recycled, but non-biodegradable polystyrene (Styrofoam) beans as the insulator, even though they are working to develop a biodegradable polyurethane.  My thoughts are, “Hey, we just had Christmas and if any of that polystyrene that is still heavily employed in packing can stay out of the ground as landfill and be put to work as an Eco Cooker and reduced carbon emission – rock on babe”.

And finally, I wish you could all have seen the look on my Scottish Mother-in-Law’s face when I unveiled each of these Santa treats, but then again she did give me a live plum tree for my Christmas and even snuck into my yard with her gardener to plant it, so maybe she’s getting a kick out of all this as well. 🙂

Wishing Everybody a Happy & Healthy ( & Reduced Emissions) New Year!

Cuban Black Bean Chili

Ingredients

  • 500 g dried black beans soaked overnight OR 3 cans/tins ready made black beans with liquid.
  • 1 large onion, diced
  • 1 large mild pepper, red or green is fine
  • 2 stalks celery,
  • 2 cloves garlic, smashed
  • salt & pepper
  • 1 can/tin of chopped tomatos
  • 2 cubes of beef boullion dissolved in 1/4 cup water or Brewers Yeast if veggie
  • 1/3 cup (or one big glug) red wine vinegar
  • 1 tsp dried thyme
  • 1 tsp dried oregano
  • 1 tsp ground cumin
  • 1 tsp ground coriander
  • 1/4 cup or 50 mls of jarred/tinned jalapeño peppers with some liquid, chopped
  • 250 - 300 grams or half a pound of cooked smoked ham, or smoked pork sausage, diced.

Instructions

  1. - If soaking the beans from dry, put them in a large lidded pot with a few bay leaves tucked in the beans. Cover with water and bring to a boil for 5 minutes and simmer for 5 more minutes. Cover and turn off heat for 2 - 10 hours OR if using the Wonderbag, cover, remove from heat and place in bag for 4+ hours but 10 hours or overnight is best. (If using an electric slow cooker please follow instructions for your appliance.)
  2. - In another pan sauté/ fry diced vegetables (not including beans) in a bit of oil for 3-5 minutes.
  3. - Once softened, add vegetables to the large pot with the beans.
  4. - Add remaining ingredients to the large pot, stir to combine and bring back up to the boil.
  5. - Reduce to simmer until ready to eat or place in a Wonderbag for 1- 4 hours or longer until you are ready to eat.
  6. - Garnish with grated cheese and spring onions/scallions.
  7. - Serve with rice, cornbread or simply a butter roll - Super Yum!
https://albaliving.com/2013/01/old-skool-xmas-2012-the-wonderbag/

My Fish Van Man

My Fish Van Man

We are blessed with the most ridiculous variety of world-class foods right here in my nook of the woods.  In fact, in my county of Fife alone you can get not only local farm produce and grains, but also dairy products,wild game, beef, pork, chicken and of course spectacular fish & shellfish.  So in an effort to seek these goodies out (and make you all super envious in the process), I am going to task myself with tracking down and highlighting as many local farmers, producers & mongers as possible.

To that end, let me introduce you to my fish van man George Hay.

(OK I took these pictures a wee while ago, but he still works year round.)

Thursday are great days for me because that is when my mobile fish merchant comes to town.  He arrives at your door in his kitted out  van which is actually a super snazzy mobile shop that you can conveniently step into (and out of the weather) to peruse his lovely wares.

George’s day begins at about 4.30 am (eek) when he arrives at the St. Monan’s Fish Market which is where the local boats from the East Neuk of Fife unload their catches.  By about 7:00 am, after acquiring his ridiculous fresh fish he prepares it by filleting and possibly smoking.  Once the fish is all set he packs it all on ice and prepares the van for the day travel and ready to hit the road by about 8 – 8.30 am. He travels four days a week with one office day for paperwork and follows a set schedule all around Fife.

 His customers are the general public and well as several local restaurants and hotels.  He only sells the freshest fish and can guarantee that nothing is more than 24 hours off the boat. In fact his fish is so fresh he has a “sell or return” agreement with the purveyors at the fish market that he can bring back any unsold stock that can be resold by another fish monger.  Not only is all his stock local, it is also only available is season (i.e. never frozen).

For some extra convenience he stocks farm fresh produce, eggs and sometimes baked goods.  For those of you out there that still think that hours off the farm strawberries or eggs don’t taste different that what you get in the supermarket, well…your just going to have to try it for yourself and you’ll never go back.

 While it is not the easiest job in the world (the hours alone would kill me), George loves chatting to his customers all day long.  He is a one man shop on wheels and loves the freedom and flexibility that being a mobile fishmonger affords. Even in these tough economic times he is able to personally explain to his customers if there is a price increase and likewise can adjust for any bargains to be had.  He is so committed to his business that short of being drafted to play rugby (his other passion) in New Zealand, he will be bringing fresh fish to us lucky pups in Fife for years to come.

George’s schedule is : 

Tuesday: Kinghorn & Burntisland

Wednesday: St. Andrew’s

Thurday: Dunfermline, Rosyth, Kinghorn & Burntisland

Friday: St. Andrews

and he can be contacted on 01333 311 521.   Additionally, he is happy to provide any special orders that you might have.  I can highly recommend his products and his services, and maybe fish day will be your favourite day of the week soon.

Enjoy!

 

Poutine - Canadian Comfort Food

Poutine – Canadian Comfort Food

I think I may have recovered from this trip just enough to share this journey with you.  The setting is relevant so bare with me a moment…

I was returning from the most fun family reunion ever at Mont Tremblant, about an hour north of Montreal, Canada.  As per usual, I seriously kicked up my heels during our stay and may have scarred a few nieces &  nephews as a result – hey ho.  So on this, our day to return to Boston to board a flight back to Scotland (via Ireland) we were facing a 7 hour car ride…with two small children,  a 20-something year old nephew who strongly advocates a survivalist lifestyle, and three very tired adults – at least one (me) with a whopping hangover.

As we prepared to leave the hotel just after 11:30 am, after lots of packing & tearful goodbyes, we jumped into the car, only to be cut off by a rogue driver on our way out of the underground garage.  At which point we promptly smashed into the wall of the garage…in a rental car. (I wasn’t driving if you were wondering).  Well, we like to think of ourselves as being made of tough stuff, so we assessed the damage, took a deep breath and even though rattled were on our way.

As you do when you are a tired parent facing a long ride in a freshly dented car, we bribed our children with lunch at McDonald’s if they could just behave until we had driven past Montreal in about an hour’s time.  And it was just about there that we stopped cold…for well over an hour…with every sign in French, looking like this.

And we were stuck behind this guy… freaking fabulous.

As it was closer to 2.45 pm when we finally started to move again (remember we still have at least 6 more hours in the car from this locale), we found ourselves slightly lost in the suddenly very rural Quebec.  No McDonald’s was presenting itself to our now very, very hungry and increasingly agitated small children.

In desperation we took the first exit that we were able and began randomly seeking out any place that we could quickly and easily eat and get back on our way.  And that it when things began to greatly improve.

Even though we drove past it at first, the group was drawn to the intriguing outdoor décor and all thoughts of McDonalds happily vanished. And so we entered La Belle Province – Retro d’Iberville and our visit quickly became a Quebecois version of Diners, Drive Ins & Dives.

It was as snazzy on the inside as it was on the out and it was clear that quite a lot of effort had been made to create a fun, retro space replete with lots of shiny chrome details.

But the magic of this adventure lay with these guys.  As our rag-tag fleet approached the counter they were ridiculously warm & welcoming.  Listening to my very Scottish sounding kids and husband try to order Fish & Chips from French Canadian speakers was very entertaining to all involved.  While I neglected to get the proper names of  the lovely woman and the tall guy, I can tell you the middle guy was named Campbell…but he didn’t speak any English so the cultural connection was a bit lost.  And while my group happily ordered the standard fried fish & burgers, I had my prize in sight.  I was finally going to sample the mythic and up until now elusive – POUTINE!

Poutine is the Canadian version of  what folks in Britain might call “Chips, Cheese, Gravy”, but it is very different in texture and flavour. There was no way I was going to miss this opportunity as I was about to cross over the border and leave the first of  four countries I had to venture through in the next 48 hours.  Now my only choice was Reguliere or Italienne – presumable with Bolognese-type sauce atop.  I opted to keep my first experience a classic, plus the Italian looked a bit too much like what would be Chili – Cheese Fries in the States of which I have had dubious experiences.

And here is how my trophy appeared upon its arrival!  Hot, crispy fries piled high with fresh cheese curds and a rich beef gravy with strong accents of pepper and lemon.  The signature element is the mild, fresh cheese curds (cheddar I was told) that make an unexpected but not unpleasant squeaking noise upon your teeth when eating.

OK, I realise the term “hot mess” does indeed come to mind, but this was just what my sore head and rattled nerves required.  Additionally, I actually went to university about an hour or so  south-west of this location and could well appreciate how welcome this hot, satisfying, savoury extravaganza could be to combat the shocking cold of the northern New York/ Canadian winter.  As a final bonus, it kept me full for the next  7 1/2 hours which was the actual remainder of the rest of the trip to Boston – but that’s another story.

Whilst you can get poutine just about anywhere, I just have to give a shout out to these guys who were so fun and so bemused to have a random woman come to rave about their food and take their picture.  So if you find yourself anywhere in the area, I can recommend the food, the service & the atmosphere of:

La Belle Province –  Retro D’Iberville 494, boul d’Iberville, Saint-Jean-Sur-Richelieu, QC J2X 3Y7  450-741-7313.

In term of recipes, even a good search of the internet turns up “oil for frying potatoes and a can/tin of beef gravy” and it all seems more of an assembly job than something requiring a home-made recipe.  I would note that of course you can substitute fresh mozzarella or regular cheddar cheese for the curds, but I would opt for some halloumi, cubed fresh from the pack to replicate the rubbery & squeaky characteristics of the dish.
As an homage to my treat of hot assembled comfort food, I have devise a Poutine Escosse – a hot mound of oven fries, topped with haggis and a whisky, cream gravy…mmmmmmmmm.  
So as all of you bordering the North Atlantic are preparing to stay warm and dry as Hurricane Sandy approaches, you might want to stock up on a hot & hardy treat.
Stay Safe!
Quick update: My friend-in-law who resides in Montreal has now gently informed me that not only does La Belle Province  refer to the nickname that Quebecois refer to their region – the place where we stopped is actually a chain – so you can sample my meal just about anywhere in Quebec.  Funny how none of the employees mentioned it in my interview – oh well, just shows you what I know!
Head'n Upstream - Recent Readings

Head’n Upstream – Recent Readings

I (like many folks of a creative bent) can get knocked off my perch with disheartening ease.  For me, this book was the most recent culprit.  It is well written, highly acclaimed and billed as “The Complete Guide to Writing Cookbooks, Blogs, Reviews, Memoir, and More”. So naturally I thought, “Hey, this sounds fabulous for me!”.

I researched this book.  I asked for this book for my Christmas, and I dually read this book whilst taking copious notes. And in return, this book paralysed me and brought my outward creative expressions to a screeching halt. (Bad book, Bad!)  There was of course, nothing wrong with book itself,  just my reaction to its sage words.  The nasty little chorus in my head (that sounds startling like the Wickersham Brothers in “Horton Hears a Who”) struck up their music and somehow convinced me that everything I had been doing in regards to writing about food had all been horribly, shamefully wrong.  Alas.

So, I waited for the chagrin to pass and tried to distract myself with a little light reading about the average Scottish woman’s life in the Tenement buildings of Edinburgh and Glasgow in the first half on the 20th century…good times.

I tend to read rather quite a lot of books like this as I am fascinated by the different aspects of life in my adopted home and their various histories.  The Scots are not terribly forthcoming with helping you understand the “why” in how things are the way they are, but then again – they are not terribly forthcoming with each other in general, so I don’t take it too personally.  Anyway, this is a brilliant book with wonderful insights into the everyday lives of an often silent (at least in historical records –  not in real life I am sure) majority of woman who lived, loved, and coped in unimaginable conditions and whose experiences influence much of what is modern Scotland today.

I can HIGHLY recommend this wonderfully researched book for ANYONE who for more than ONE SECOND is tempted to retreat into their inner core to host a little pity party for themselves about how life is treating them.  Strong tonic this!

However, my writing funk was still not shifting, school holidays were now upon us and all schedules went out the window.   Luckily, on the recommendation of my brother, I began this next ditty. This is the equally impressive corollary to this same author’s Pulitzer Prize winning book Guns, Germs & Steel.  I LOVE Diamond’s work as it soars through time, space & catastrophe with his unique blend of super smarty-pants observations and humour.  Who else can take you through the demise of Easter Island and Medieval Greenland, straight into the impending doom of our modern environmental actions and leave you begging for more? (Very important folks…do NOT cut down all your trees for grazing and/or farming – Top Tip.)

Well, with my brain properly humming with thoughts of over-salinisation of our eroded and depleted soils and the general precariousness of our existence, my next read came packing a surprising wallop. This is Douglas Adams’s (of the Hitchhicker’s Guide to the Galaxy fame) posthumous book.   It is not just a collection of articles and notes from his hard drive, but also the first chapters of the books he was working on at his untimely death in May of 2001 during a gym workout. ( Stay with me – things cheer up from here on…)

Well, anyone who knows Adams’s writing knows the sheer joy of his absurd ramblings. Yet even though he brought so much joy and humour to so many, in his life he constantly struggled with a (seemingly bizarre) lack of confidence.  So, although the title of the Salmon of Doubt began life as a possible sixth book in the Hitchhiker’s trilogy (yup that’s right), it is also a reference to his own creative journey and what hard it work it can be to keep those taps flowing.  This collection was compiled by his family and editors so that we could all savour just a bit more of his genius after his death.  As quoted in the Financial Times, “Douglas Adams threw away better ideas than most people have ever had…”.  Crikey, if it could be a challenge for him, what could I possibly be stressing about?

As my inner perspective regained a slightly more permissive and chilled stance, I encountered this next absolute gem of a book.  Now, I admit I was bracing for another worthwhile but very academic tome when I cracked the cover, but joy of joys this book was anything but a dry read!  It was written by a woman who was born in a fishing village in Fife in 1895 and whilst she lived with and amongst the fisher folk of the village, she and her family we always slightly “other” and therefore apart as her father was a fish buyer and caretaker of one of the churches in town.  Bottom line this was one of the richest, most interesting, enjoyable historical accounts I have ever read (and I have read a few) which very nearly never saw the light of day!

It was written by the author many decades after she moved away from Scotland, first to travel to Algeria as a Missionary and then to relocate in England (doon Sooth).  After her death her son passed it to her sister who insisted that she needed to take a black marker to most of it and promptly stored it in a bottom drawer.  For many more years that it where it sat until well after the sister’s death when the son came across it again.  Perhaps he had grown a bit, but not only did he overcome his embarrassment at his mother’s long remembered childhood in Scotland, he had the humility in the forward of the book to acknowledge, “I think I always underestimated my mother”.  He finally saw that this treasure was published – almost 100 years from when many of these observations occurred and over 50 years from when they were recorded as a book.

So, what do I take from this random collection of readings? Well, just that life is fleeting and precarious at best and that to waste any of that time panicking about the calibre of your creative output is a waste.  Everyone brings something different to the table and there is no one way or even right way to go about letting your free flag fly.  Hopefully, things improve with time and effort, but even great creatives have the same struggles no matter what their external trappings of success.  So lighten up, get cracking and enjoy sharing your thoughts, dreams & creations with each other because if not, the world will be less rich because of your hesitations.

Happy Weekend!

 

Crispy Kale Chips

Crispy Kale Chips

Now I know that these have been quite the rage amongst the healthy folk of North American in the past few years, but let me tell you a bit about the role of kale in the Scottish diet…’cuz we like own kale babe.

For a quick refresher, kale is a member of the cabbage family but is also very closely related to broccoli, cauliflower, brussels sprout & collard greens.  Kale is often classed according to leaf shape and size but for us of the short & curly variety we favour Scots Kale.

Kale has been a tremendously important part of the Scottish diet, and is usually served in soups or as a hot side dish.  It is also great as a salad but that is not so traditional in the cold and misty climate.  It grows best in the winter months with a good bit of frost (of which we have a-plenty) it provided an essential link between the autumn harvest and spring vegetables. It was so prevalent that the name for a kitchen garden in Scotland is the ‘kale-yard’ and the word is often synonymous with the word for food, as in ‘to be off one’s kale’.  It also lent its name to a school of writers in the early 20th century  know as the ‘kaleyard school’ which included Scottish writers such as J M Barrie of Peter Pan fame.

Kale as seen 'in the wild'

One of the celebrated ‘superfoods’ of recent health claims this lovely packs a serious punch nutritionally in essential vitamins A, B & K, whilst providing major doses minerals including iron & calcium and a whole host of anti-oxidants and cancer fighting flavonoids.  For those who want to know even more, you can check out some more benefits here http://www.nutrition-and-you.com/kale.html.

Washed & Cut Kale from Tesco 206 g

For those looking for a tasty & healthy alternative to potato chips/crisps, this is how you might find kale in your local shop.  You can just take this bag home, whack the oven to 180 C/ 350 F get a baking sheet or two and spread the leaves out.  Drizzle with a teaspoon or two of olive oil and (I have had luck with a sprinkling of soy sauce OR balsamic for a bit of extra taste) a sprinkle with a bit of sea salt and after about 20 minutes you have the crispy, yummy, dried leaves in autumn sounding pile of goodness.  Upon my first batch of making these crisps I must have been a bit low on my green & leafies as I stood over the baking trays and proceeded to polish off about a kilo of the stuff!

Big on flavour, low if fat – I like ’em, my husband likes ’em and even my picky vegetarian and dairy-free children like ’em, so they are now a staple in our household.

Hopefully this fun and easy modern twist on yet another of Scotland’s fantastic ancient staples will bring some yummy and super-nutritious nibbles to your everyday life!

 

Balsamic Bacon Chutney

Balsamic Bacon Chutney

Due to an unforeseen miracle of changing Freeview boxes I now (after 10 years mind you) get a few precious hours of the Food Network a day.  That is the good news – the bad news is that the window in which this miracle occurs is limited to between 8-10 pm so I have been watching the same two shows of Diners, Drive-ins & Dives and Cupcake Wars non-stop for a two-week span. Well, I will take what I can get.

This beauty was originally described as “Bacon Jam” sold from the Skillet Street Food, a gourmet burger van in Portland Oregon, but I tweaked it quite a bit to create the wondrous thing below. I am so pleased to introduce you my new Balsamic Bacon Chutney –  and oh heavens,  do you all need this in your life!

Tastes so good it should be bad for you…but it’s not!

Firstly, I had to rename it straight away due to the universal facial reaction of Brits when you say “Bacon Jam”.  It would be similar if you went up  to an average American and said with great enthusiasm that you were going to make a “Fish Pie” – go on and try it and see what happens…it will be fun I promise!  Then after reviewing several versions, I was not in love with the finely ground texture of most recipes and of course had to combine ALL my favourite hints of smoky, salty, sweet & spicy all in one go – and viola, bliss on a spoon.

For a final flourish I had to take it through a few test trials as to the best application of such an accompaniment.  Here is how I have had it so far:

– On a turkey burger topped with crumbled blue cheese

– On a salmon fillet as a crust

– In a turkey sandwich with sliced granny smith apples & mature cheddar cheese

– On a piece of toast topped with a poached egg

– On top of pancakes (for that bacon & syrup blast of flavour)

– And of course with cheese & biscuits/crackers

All of which I am happy to report are flaming delicious!

Now here is the best part…with the upcoming bikini season fast approaching I have been counting my Pro Points like a good girl.  A serving of this chutney – and we are talking a serious heaping TABLESPOON (22 grams) is only 1 measly point in Weight Watcher world.  That is less that 2 weensy teaspoons of low-fat mayo!  I have also made it with turkey bacon/rashers which is totally yummy as well, but be prepared to add an extra dash of maple syrup & balsamic vinegar at the end if it gets too dry.

Here is the very simple recipe for what I hope will become one of your new favourites in your condiment world.  This recipe  makes a pretty modest batch of  325 – 330 grams or a little more than half a pound (depending on how much of the cooked bacon you eat along the way).  As we have gone through 3 batches so far this week, I can recommend doubling or tripling it soon.

Please let me know of any new additions or ways in which you have found it to work for you – ENJOY!

Balsamic Bacon Chutney

Ingredients

  • 250 grams or half pound of bacon
  • 1 medium onion, diced
  • 2 Tablespoon brown sugar
  • 2 Tablespoons Balsamic vinegar
  • 2 Maple Syrup
  • 2 cloves garlic, minced
  • 1/2 teaspoon hot chilli flakes

Instructions

  1. Cook bacon in a large fry pan until well done, remove from pan to drain
  2. In the same pan fry the diced onion on low heat until very soft
  3. Cut up or dice cooked bacon and return to pan with onion
  4. Add sugar, vinegar & syrup and reduce for 2-3 minutes on low
  5. Add minced garlic and chilli flakes and continue to reduce until glossy chutney consistency.
  6. Cool and store in a covered jar in the fridge
  7. Chutney should keep for up to 3 weeks in fridge (ha ha will never last that long!)
https://albaliving.com/2012/04/balsamic-bacon-chutney/

 

 

 

The Red Pantiles of Fife

The Red Pantiles of Fife

The region or county that I live in is called Fife, more commonly know as The Kingdom of Fife.  Long before there was a notion of a land called “Scotland”, this peninsula of land was said to be the lower Kingdom of the Picts (or Painted Peoples) known as  Fib.  These ancient boundaries and names persist very much into the present day with even our local radio station having the moniker of The Kingdom FM.

Anyway, this is us in red, an apt colour for the map as one of the main signifier that you are indeed in the Kingdom is our red tiled roof known as pantiles.

In the many picturesque fishing villages that dot our coastline you can see this regional architectural detail of cheery red-tiled roofs, as in this image of the harbour at Anstruther (home of the award-winning Best Fish & Chip Shop 2008/9).  There is as much leisure craft as there are fishing vessels in these small towns as their close proximity to both St. Andrew’s and Edinburgh make them very popular tourist destinations.

So how did these tiles become so popular in a country so dominated by slate (historically thatch) roofs?  As you can see from this map Fife is much more conveniently situated for trade with the northern European countries such as the Netherlands that it would be to say, the Mediterranean or the new world.

And for several centuries before the joining of the crowns of Scotland and England (see Guy Fawkes Night), Scotland, and the area of Fife in particular, had its own rich trading links with the Low Countries.  Out would go our coal, wool, linen and salt, and on the return journey the ships hulls would be filled with the red pantiles as ballast.  These intrepid traders were clearly influenced by their Flemish neighbours and as their ships were full of the stuff anyway, they decided to incorporate some of the nifty roof work back home (maybe traditional thatched roof were becoming passée).

This is a an amazingly preserved village close to me called Culross (pronounced coo-ros), founded by Saint Serf in the 6th century. (Saint Serf was to have given shelter to the unmarried but pregnant princess who later became Saint Enoch, and together they then married and raised her son who was to become Saint Kentigern or Saint Mungo. He, in turn went on to found Glasgow – beat that in your xmas card babe!)  It is here that you can still see some of  the original examples of this Flemish influence in the red pantiles and crow stepped gable ends on the buildings.

During the 16th and 17th centuries Culross was in its heyday boasting wealth from international trade in its coal (from the world first under-sea coal mine built in 1575) salt from panning and a monopoly in small iron girdles used for baking over an open fire. Its fortunes fell fast during the 18th century as the harbour was filled in, and by Victorian times it was totally cut off from access to the open sea by the construction of the coastal railway.  By the late 19th century it was a ghost town and was only “rescued” from obliteration by the National Trust for Scotland who have been working on its preservation from the 1930s.

While not every building is roofed with pantiles, as in the town hall – which has also served as a courthouse and prison (the window beneath the clock face is rumoured to be where they kept the witches before trials – happy days),

many buildings, both municipal and residential do still sport their snazzy red roofs.

This regional feature is so associated with the area that even new buildings often incorporate it into modern construction.  The drawing on the left is a sample from a Barrett home built down south in Manchester (with its presumably regional mock Tudor details) and the same home by the same builder as it exists in Fife.

Whilst these tiles are designed to live their lives on the rooftops, many have taken flight over the last few weeks in our extraordinarily intense storms.  While many were weakened from our major snowstorms last year, it was the double whammy of our naughtily named Hurricane Bawbag of the 5th of December and our way more scary unnamed storm of the 3rd of January this year that have delivered us a serious hammering.  With gusts of wind at 165 mph and 102 mph respectively, we sat huddled in our homes while the winds battered us and sent our beloved regional roof bits flying.  (She’s breaking up Cap’t and she cannae take any more!)

So we have taken to gathering the bits of our rooftops from our neighbours yards and surveying the damage just about everywhere in sight.  Additionally, we can while away the last of our winter holidays sifting through the dozens of  form letters pushed through our mail slot from concerned roofing companies (who must surely be licking their chops about now) about how sorry they are to see the damage we have sustained and to please call them if they can be of any help.

http://www.historic-scotland.gov.uk/informguide-pantiles.pdf

But me?  I am going old skool and resorting to my handy copy of Historic Scotland’s primer on maintaining a pantiled roof.  If there is one thing about living in such an old country with so much history, you do learn to just deal with what comes and count the blessings of what you still have, or as they say here, “Och, wheest an get oan wae it”.  Cause winds or no, the red roofs will remain one of Fife’s most distinctive features.

Stay warm & dry!

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